The rush is worth the price I pay.

I feel kind of sick right now. I don't know why but I feel like puking. All I had today was a tea, and orange, and a multivitamin pill. I am thinking that the nausea may had something to do with the multivitamin. It says I have to eat with it, which I did, but if its requiring more than what I ate I am not going to take them anymore. Even though I desperately need them. I don't want my hair falling out (more than it already does). So I need these vitamins. I don't know, I'll keep trying them I guess.

And I've got new motivation! In my last post I mentioned that one of my goals was to get a certain boy want me. And boy do I ever want him to want me. It's ridiculous. And I shouldn't even want him to want me. You know why? Because he was a complete dick to me. It was all good and then bam, I didn't exist to him anymore. But I can't get him off my mind and he is everywhere I go. I don't know why I like him again. I need a slap in the face I really do, but I doubt that would help me. I'm love stuck girls! For a complete asshole.... ha.

So, maybe I don't exactly want a relationship with him at this point but I want to look so good that he can't take his eyes off me. I want him to WANT to talk to me again. So, that is my goal: To look so damn fine that he can't resist me.

Good enough thinspiration? I think so.

I hope I don't eat anymore today. That would be really good because I ate so much the past to days, I need to fix it. I am not even going to look at the scale till Monday. I can't imagine how much I gained.

I've been really into Ke$ha lately. Have you all heard of her? Her personality annoys me (because she acts like a drunk) but she has some good music. It's all I've been listening to for days.

Eden xox

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