Tuesday, April 20, 2010

pretty scared.

So, with all the pretty new clothes I bought and have been wearing all week I seem to be getting a lot of attention and compliments. (the only sad thing is, is that the guy i like hasn't been around enough to notice or anything, but his friends have sure noticed) I get told I'm pretty more often, like I have told you in previous posts and to be completely honest, it kind of scares me. I was never the pretty one and I never had money to buy nice clothes that fit me or that showed off what I got and now that I actually try I feel like going and wearing sweats and baggy clothes and hiding in a corner. Because I am so NOT used to this attention and I don't know what to do with it. I really don't. It scares me.

I went to the movies last night and to not look like a complete fool in front of the guy I was with I ate lots of candy and popcorn with him. I made sure I walked a lot though so I even though I ate more than I should've, the walking would keep my calorie intake down.

Today is my 600 calories intake day and I am allowed to eat about 150 more calories for the day. Which I should be good with. Hopefully. The only thing that sucks about the 2468 diet is that somedays 800 calories seem too much. I eat them of course, but I don't think I deserve to be allowed those calories. I feel like I am cheating by giving myself an 800 calorie day. Which is tomorrow.... :

I'm sick of feeling my fat thighs rubbing together. I am sick of not seeing my collar bones pop out more. I am sick of how many calories are in such small foods! I hate calories!!!

Eden xox.


  1. me too i hate calories -.- half an apple=tons of calories which my fat body does not deserve. its half an apple! it should not be allowed that many calories grr
    and i get u about sometimes not deserving food.
    im trying to find a way to do a fast for a week or so but dont know how to get away from my family. hmm...

  2. I can relate to how you feel kind of scared about getting compliments on looking nice, not being used to the attention and you don't know what to do with it. I'm the same way.
    But I hope you believe that you're so pretty! :)

  3. Darling you're doing so well, don't give up! and you do deserve those calories because you're an awesome thinspo for us all :)

  4. i don't blame you for being afraid of the attention you're getting. i didn't wear make up for the longest time and one day, i did. and two guys just stared at me and another told me i was beautiful. it was so completely uncomfortable.