How can I go through my entire life only finding ways to hurt myself. I used to think girls who let guys use them all the time were a joke. Now I understand how easy it is. Sometimes you get lost in a world and the only thing you have left is that. To be used. To be fucked. To tell a guy you'll suck his dick just so that he will want to see you again while others in the background tell you you are making a huge mistake and you deserve better.
Well if I deserved better I would have had it by now. But no, this is what I deserve. This is what I will take.
I wish I looked like a beauty queen. All you girls are fighting to stay under your calorie limits. I think I am too depressed to eat. I'm starving my body and I don't even care.
I am sure the time will come back, where I have nothing but food to think about.
But it is the last thing on my mind. I eat to survive now. I have to literally force myself to eat something because with out it I pass out. And even then I don't eat much.
So my body continues to shrink.
I am sorry that I don't talk about ED stuff anymore. All of you are probably looking for some sort of thinspo and I don't see how you can find it here.
Not even sure why you guys would read my blog. Its so depressing. I am sorry.