In a daze

So I won't even go into details about the absolute horror yesterday was. Today is a new day and I have loads of new inspiration. I will make this work. I have to.

I am writing this before I go to school because for one, I am alone, everyone is sleeping and two because I am in a complete daze. I woke up way to early this morning. When the alarm woke my up at 5:40 I was completely confused as to why the hell I set my alarm that frickin early. So I set it to an hour later which is my regular time. Turns out I didn't need to because I was wide awake and my mind was a churnin'

and this is what I was thinking about:

WATER. I needed desperately some frickin water. I was craving it so so bad that I could taste it in my mouth. That craving alone made me get out of bed a chug back four glasses. So I was up way too early but took a shower and got ready anyways. I was also still in a very confused, detached state (still am.)

I was also thinking about how I drag on and on about food. Like I get on this blog and its ALL I TALK ABOUT! but when you really think about it. Food controls my life. It has for a while and it is really all I think about most of the time. I consume my thoughts about what I am going to eat, when I am going to eat, the calorie intake, how hungry I am, how fat I am, how bad I feel after eating and on and on. Its quite sad.

But on a more happier note I have fabulous inspiration. Someone I know, not someone I talk to a lot but this person is literally my idol on earth. She is the best kind of person I know. Not to mention absolutely beautiful and I know that there is no way I can look like her because she is one of those pixie like short and small girls but I want to be able to fit in clothes the way that she does and have the same attitude as her about life because she is really amazing.

So I want to be like her and this is my "thinsipration" if you must.

I am sick of putting up with peoples stuck up attitudes. So when I go back to school (which literally minutes away) I will have a major attitude adjustment because I now have the motivation to change. If they won't, then I will and I won't let them get away with thinking they are better than everyone else. I am talking about my friends of course.

Maybe an update later? Not sure if anyone reads this anyways... but for myself sure!

Eden xox

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