Monday, March 22, 2010

In a daze

So I won't even go into details about the absolute horror yesterday was. Today is a new day and I have loads of new inspiration. I will make this work. I have to.

I am writing this before I go to school because for one, I am alone, everyone is sleeping and two because I am in a complete daze. I woke up way to early this morning. When the alarm woke my up at 5:40 I was completely confused as to why the hell I set my alarm that frickin early. So I set it to an hour later which is my regular time. Turns out I didn't need to because I was wide awake and my mind was a churnin'

and this is what I was thinking about:

WATER. I needed desperately some frickin water. I was craving it so so bad that I could taste it in my mouth. That craving alone made me get out of bed a chug back four glasses. So I was up way too early but took a shower and got ready anyways. I was also still in a very confused, detached state (still am.)

I was also thinking about how I drag on and on about food. Like I get on this blog and its ALL I TALK ABOUT! but when you really think about it. Food controls my life. It has for a while and it is really all I think about most of the time. I consume my thoughts about what I am going to eat, when I am going to eat, the calorie intake, how hungry I am, how fat I am, how bad I feel after eating and on and on. Its quite sad.

But on a more happier note I have fabulous inspiration. Someone I know, not someone I talk to a lot but this person is literally my idol on earth. She is the best kind of person I know. Not to mention absolutely beautiful and I know that there is no way I can look like her because she is one of those pixie like short and small girls but I want to be able to fit in clothes the way that she does and have the same attitude as her about life because she is really amazing.

So I want to be like her and this is my "thinsipration" if you must.

I am sick of putting up with peoples stuck up attitudes. So when I go back to school (which literally minutes away) I will have a major attitude adjustment because I now have the motivation to change. If they won't, then I will and I won't let them get away with thinking they are better than everyone else. I am talking about my friends of course.

Maybe an update later? Not sure if anyone reads this anyways... but for myself sure!

Eden xox


1 comment:

  1. I guess we all have food issues because of the way we are. I find that 70% of my thoughts have to do with what I'm eating, what I plan on eating, and what other people are eating. My favorite tv shows are on the food network.

    As long as you want to change, you will. Just give it your best shot.