Friday, June 11, 2010

When I started this blog, and started following all of you lovely ladies, I was so innocent. I basically had all the time in the world to do what ever I wanted. I wasn't attached emotionally to people, well...maybe a little. But not like now. Now it feels that these people have complete control over me. Over my emotions. One little thing can set me off. Literally. I can't take this anymore. Everything overwhelms me.

And I feel like I'm fucking crazy. The emotions that run through my head, the way I react to things, the way I view certain situations. It's like totally different from everyone else and I sit there wondering why I can't see things the way everyone else does. Things seem perfectly rational at first...then they tell me I'm wrong or overreacting and its like...why? Is it really that bad to view things that way?
And so tonight I am left alone. And no one seems to care. I'm not that important to them anyways.

I wish I could be perfect for everyone.

I wish I didn't have to attach emotionally to these people.

I wish I didn't hurt when they tell me they don't care about me.

I wish that was enough to walk away.

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, well thats alright because I like the way it hurts."
Listen to Eminem ft. Rhianna- I love the way you lie.
Its a good song.

1 comment:

  1. i understand you fully.. i started my blog and started reading yours and others and ive changed so much since then. i just view things so differently nowadays. maybe in a different way than u but ive changed loads too! its crazy