keep it up while its there.

Things are starting to settle down and I no longer feel the need to just hide or throw it all away. But these damn life experiences keep changing me. I am a totally different person.

Since sex has been introduced into my life...childish fantasies of real love have flown out the window.

Since sex has been introduced into my life...I keep getting a glimpse of reality and into what people really do behind my "rose tinted glass"

Since sex has been introduced into my life...it seems to be the only thing people want from me. and I've learned that I can just give and take from people.

Since sex has been introduced into my life...my innocence has disappeared.

I fell for the biggest dick in the planet. A dick who knows just how much of a dick he is to me and doesn't really care, he actually finds it funny.



So I don't care about him anymore. I'll use him just as much as he uses me.


But prince charming is knocking at my door now. The sweetest boy ever. He would never hurt me and I know he wouldn't. The problem now is....I can hurt him. and bad.



Because I no longer want the cute little dating scene.


I want the dick. Because I can't let go of my first. I just can't. No matter how bad he is for me, no matter how good prince charming is.

Something keeps telling me that I need to hold on...just for a bit longer.