Comfortable.

So today (the day isn't over yet, so I am holding on) was a good day on the eating front. I didn't over indulge. I ate a fair amount but I am okay with the calories.

Dry fruitloops: (110)
Stir fry: (260)
4 chocolate chip cookies: (340) (not all at one time)

total: 710

I probably would have been fine without the cookies but when I got home from school my sister made them and I could not help it. At least I didn't eat a ton. It sucks how many calories these things are. I just need to start finding some food that is low calories. If I really look, I could probably get some good stuff. But its hard to be picky when your dirt poor and the people in your house hate when you buy healthy food (and then eat it all on you).

Lately people have been really bugging me with how comfortable they can be with making fun of anorexics and bulimics. Yesterday I heard tons of snide little comments from ignorant asses. And then on top of that my stuck up snob friend likes to pride herself on the fact that she constantly wants to diet. "I'll just go on a diet and get skinny like I always do, no biggy". Like fuck right off. Its not that fucking easy for most of us.

I am just really ready to lose the pounds that I need to. I'm sick of being this weight. I just need to keep restricting and walking and it will happen. I need to keep telling myself that. It will if I work at it. If I just keep throwing it away it won't happen.

8 days to lose 5-6 pounds? It needs to happen. I'll make it happen. But if it doesn't happen. If I don't reach that goal in 8 fucking days then that will be sad. Complete failure.

Eden xox.